We got the news we’d been hoping for.
My husband’s next job with the Navy would be in San Diego, California, our favorite spot and the place we got married!
We would be moving from Norfolk, Virginia, in a few months, and we got to work right away, scouting out places to live.
But as soon as we started researching, fear settled over me. So how do you overcome anxiety when you are making a big decision?
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Fears often rise to the surface when we’re facing a big decision.
Everything seems uncertain, so our minds fill that space with “what ifs” and worries about making the wrong choice.
We were excited to see Coronado Island as a potential place to live; we even sensed that God might be leading us there.
But I saw some immediate issues that made me feel unsettled.
I felt fear about making this big decision.
- Living in Southern California is expensive, but prices on Coronado are ridiculous. How would we afford it?
- And if we lived far from the base on Coronado where my husband would be working, when would the kids see him? With his deployment schedule plus commuting, they would barely see him during our two-year tour.
- On the other hand, would we want to live close to a military base? I had the disturbing thought that if there was some sort of attack on the US, the ground on Coronado would be a prime target. Is that where I want to put my family?
I was so torn and worried about how to make this decision.
Of course, my husband was involved in the planning process, but I had my own internal struggle.
This was a big decision, and I was filled with fear.
How to Overcome Fear When Making A Big Decision
I’ll finish my story at the end of this post.
But first, here’s a great way that I’ve found to process through fears and make decisions from a place of peace.
When we eliminate fear, we can look objectively at the situation instead of reacting to our worries.
We can overcome fear when making a big decision.
1- Speak The Truth
The Biblical word confess means to acknowledge, declare or agree.
When we confess, we declare what is true about what we believe or think.
So the first thing I had to do was acknowledge my fears and feelings to the Lord.
He knows them, but He wants us to face them and admit them.
For example, it was something like this: “Lord I confess that I’m afraid that if we move to Coronado, we won’t be able to afford it. I’m also afraid that we’ll be in danger.”
2- Ask God for His Perspective
I also like to ask God why I’m afraid. (Or why I feel the way I do.)
The answer seems obvious on the surface, but often God wants to unearth something beneath the surface.
For example, “Lord, why am I so afraid of our finances and being in danger?”
I sensed that I wasn’t trusting God’s leading or trusting that He would take care of us.
We aren’t promised our circumstances will work out how we expect or hope.
When God leads us, we can trust that He will walk us through whatever comes our way.
3- Reject fear in the name of Jesus.
Willpower only lasts for so long, especially against fear.
We are in a spiritual battle, so we must use spiritual weapons.
The Name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus are mighty weapons against the enemy.
4- Replace the Fear with God’s truth
For this, we have to listen to God’s truth.
We can look up Scriptures, and we also need to take the time to listen quietly.
God can speak to our spirits through the Holy Spirit, and He may have one specific verse or thought He wants us to focus on.
He does not want us to live in fear.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
Anything we hear must line up with the written Word God has given us in the Bible.
Many times, though, we don’t stop to wait and listen for an answer.
For more on discerning God’s voice and direction, check out these Principles of Divine Guidance from World Outreach Ministries.
In my situation, I sensed that the Lord wanted me to know that He would be with us.
God wanted me to know we didn’t have to fear.
I also sensed that living on Coronado was a gift, but I didn’t realize all that meant at the time.
5- Receive the words God has for you
We have to receive and be open to what God says to us.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe what God says because it’s incredible.
I felt so blessed to be able to live in Coronado.
My husband and I spent a lot of time there when we were dating long distances while he was stationed there.
It was a dream come true, and I had to let go of my fears and receive the gift that it was to live there.
I also had to receive the peace of knowing He was leading us instead of holding onto my fears.
I want to be clear that I’m not saying that when we release our fears to the Lord, we get material things, a nice place to live, or that our circumstances improve every time.
The most significant change is operating from a place of peace.
Being able to overcome our fears when making a big decision is so comforting.
That said, when God put on my heart that moving there was a gift, He was not joking around.
I definitely feel that I received a massive gift from the Lord that was above and beyond the peace I got.
And not only did we live in a fantastic place, and we got to spend more time with my husband, but we had the surprise of a lifetime…
The month we moved into our home, we got pregnant with baby #3.
We had struggled with fertility and endured three miscarriages on the road to conceiving our first two children.
We didn’t know that we could get pregnant without help!
And the timing and location of where we moved definitely played into our ability to conceive our little blessing (wink).
I am amazed at every good and perfect thing that comes from the hand of God.
James 1:17 “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” (NAS)
Again, not all situations end with tremendous blessings or circumstances improving.
However, when we can make decisions out of peace instead of fear, we open ourselves up to what God has for us in a fresh new way.
We reap the blessings of following His voice instead of allowing fear to run our lives.
I pray that as you face big (or little) decisions in your life and fear settles over you, you will tune into the voice of God and receive the peace He has for you!
About Heather Goffrier
Heather Goffrier is a Navy wife & mom of 3 daughters, ages 6, 3, and almost 2. She helps mamas gain confidence through parenting tips for toddlers and newborns, marriage communication tips, encouragement for moms & managing house routines. She loves chocolate and can be found eating treats in the pantry when her kids aren’t looking. You can find her at https://strongwithgrace.com.