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How to love your husband when marriage is hard

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Do you remember when you first fell in love with your husband? Your wedding day was filled with love and happy memories right? So how do your love your husband when marriage is hard?

Every marriage goes through ups and downs. Sometimes it seems like you are on a rollercoaster. The highs are great but the lows are heartbreaking.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient and kind.” and in verse 8 “Love never fails.” Sometimes is feels like your love is really being put to the test!

Why is marriage hard?

Marriage is hard because we are two imperfect people. That’s it. After everything is said and done we are two imperfect people who have decided to spend the rest of our lives together.

When you first met your husband I bet you would have been willing to do anything for him, am I right? You looked past his flaws and the little things he did that bugged you. Now those little things have turned into huge thorns that poke the happiness and peace in your marriage.

wedding rings on a whitewashed board with purple flowers/how to love your husband when marriage is hard

The truth is neither one of us is perfect. We both do and say things that bug or hurt the other. Not necessarily on purpose. It seems like once we get married we relax and eventually stop doing the things that made us fall in love in the first place.

How to survive hard times in marriage

I’ve been married for right at 30 years now. My husband and I have had our share of ups and downs. I’ve talked to several other women who have shared their struggles in marriage as well.

From my own personal experience I have relied on my faith and prayer to keep my heart focused on making my marriage work during hard times. I began praying War Room Prayers over my marriage after watching the movie The War Room.

Surviving hard times in your marriage is not easy. Maybe your husband has betrayed your trust with lies or other women. Maybe you don’t feel like you are being heard and your feelings don’t matter. Or his friends and hobbies are taking all of his time.

Honestly there several reasons why your marriage may be going through a hard time. If you want to find a reason to be frustrated with your husband and unhappy in your marriage you can find one.

Your marriage may be bad today but it doesn’t have to stay that way because if God is able to do what you can’t.


The good news is that it may be bad today but it doesn’t have to stay this way. Your tears and frustrations don’t have to take over and be a daily way of living. There is hope for any marriage that is struggling.

Bible verses for a struggling marriage

When your marriage is struggling it is easy to focus on what is wrong. But it is vitally important to stop and listen to God and ask Him for guidance. The Bible is the living breathing word of God and we can trust every word, even when our marriage is struggling.

God actually has quite a bit to say about love and marriage and how we are to treat each other. I’ve come to depend on several verses to help me when my marriage has struggled. I’m sure you have your own go to verses but here are some that may help.

  • 1 Peter 4:8 ~ Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
  • Colossians 3:14 ~ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ~ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
  • Ephesians 5:25 ~ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
  • Ephesians 5:33 – However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
  • Mark 10:6-9 – But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
  • Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
  • Isaiah 43:2 – When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
  • 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 – For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Can God heal my struggling marriage?

YES!!! God can absolutely heal, redeem and restore your marriage! My marriage is living proof that God can do this! Although I won’t go into details I will tell you we have been through it, the good, the bad and the ugly! Today we are better than ever, thanks to God’s amazing grace and the power of prayer.

Marriages struggle with because of so many things. Alcohol and/or drug abuse, adultery, gambling, pride, pornography, selfishness, and so many other things can turn our hearts cold toward our spouse and make us feel like there is no hope. Maybe you are in a place where you just want to give up.

I promise you there is hope! I vividly remember walking through that valley of complete brokenness and thinking this was it, our marriage was over, there was no way we could survive this.

But dear friend I can tell you with all certainty that God is able! Jesus tells us in Matthew 19:26 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Not some things, not the easy to fix things, but ALL things!

Don’t give up! Now just let me stop and say that if you are being abused or in fear then that is different. God never meant for you to be abused and if that is your situation then i strongly encourage you to get help!

Also, I completely understand the heartache and pain that comes from finding out your husband has been unfaithful. I know God allows us to leave a marriage when one spouse has been unfaithful.

However, I know God can heal, redeem and restore broken people and broken marriages. It is not easy to keep loving someone who seemingly doesn’t love you. It is hard to forgive when the person you love the most hurts you the deepest.

couple facing away from each other on couch/how to love your husband when marriage is hard

Sometimes love is a choice we make. If you really want healing and restoration for your marriage then you have got to pray. You have to trust God that He can do what you can’t.

Maybe you don’t feel like you love your husband today. Maybe you don’t think you can forgive him for all the pain he has caused you. Maybe you don’t think you can ever trust him again.

Yes, I know what you are thinking. I trust God to fix our marriage but my husband has a free will and what if he doesn’t want to? What if what I’m seeing with my eyes doesn’t match what God says in the Bible?

Dear friend that’s where faith and prayer come in! Yes, your husband has a free will but God can melt the coldest heart. Maybe you are praying and trusting God but you are not seeing any signs that it is working. That’s when you remember “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

The Bible says “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6&7

Prayers for My Marriage Mock up for Marriage is Hard post

Download and print off this 30 day Prayers for My Marriage calendar. Commit these verses to memory, write them on the tablet of your heart and pray for your marriage. Pray for your husband like you have never prayed before and leave it in God’s hands. He can do what we cannot.

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Please share this post to help other women who are struggling in their marriages and don’t forget to pray for them as well.

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