We got the news we’d been hoping for.
My husband’s next job with the Navy would be in San Diego, California, our favorite spot and the place we got married! We would be moving from Norfolk, Virginia in a few months and we got to work right away scouting out places to live.
But as soon as we started researching, fear settled over me.
Fears often rise to the surface when we’re facing a big decision.
Everything seems uncertain, so our minds fill that space with “what ifs” and worries about making the wrong choice.
We were excited to look at Coronado Island as a potential place to live, and we even sensed that God might be leading us there. But I saw some immediate issues that made me feel unsettled.
- Living in Southern California is expensive, but prices on Coronado are ridiculous. How would we afford it?
- And if we chose to live far from the base on Coronado where my husband would be working, when would the kids see him? With his deployment schedule plus commuting, they would barely see him during our two-year tour.
- On the other hand, would we want to live that close to a military base? I had the disturbing thought that if there was some sort of attack on the US, the base on Coronado would be a prime target. Is that where I want to put my family?
I was so torn, and worried about how to make this decision. Of course, my husband was involved in the process and planning, but I was having my own internal struggle.
How to Overcome Fear When Making A Big Decision
I’ll finish my story at the end of this post. But first, here’s a great way that I’ve found to process through fears and make decisions from a place of peace. When we get rid of fear, we are free to look objectively at the situation instead of reacting to our worries.
1- Speak The Truth
The Biblical word confess means to acknowledge, declare or agree. When we confess we are declaring what is true about what we believe or think.
So the first thing I had to do was acknowledge my fears and feelings to the Lord. He knows them, but He wants us to face them and admit them.
For example, for me it was something like this: “Lord I confess that I’m afraid that if we move to Coronado, we won’t be able to afford it. I’m also afraid that we’ll be in danger.”
2- Ask God for His Perspective
I also like to ask God why I’m afraid. (Or why I feel the way I do.) The answer seems obvious on the surface, but often God wants to unearth something beneath the surface.
For example, “Lord, why am I so afraid of our finances and being in danger?”
I sensed that I wasn’t trusting God’s leading or trusting that He would take care of us. We aren’t promised that our circumstances will work out the way we expect or hope. But when God leads us, we can trust that He will walk with us through whatever comes our way.
3- Reject the fear in the name of Jesus.
Willpower only lasts for so long. We are in a spiritual battle so we need to use spiritual weapons. The Name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus are mighty weapons against the enemy.
4- Replace the Fear with God’s truth
For this we have to listen for God’s truth. We can look up Scriptures and we also need to take the time to listen quietly. God can speak to our spirits through the Holy Spirit and He may have one specific verse or thought He wants us to focus on.
Many times, though, we don’t stop to wait and listen for an answer. Anything we hear must line up with the written Word God has given us in the Bible.
For more on discerning God’s voice and direction, check out these Principles of Divine Guidance from World Outreach Ministries.
In my situation, I sensed that the Lord wanted me to know that He would be with us and that we didn’t have to fear. I also sensed that living on Coronado was a gift, but I didn’t realize all that meant at the time.
5- Receive the words God has for you
We have to receive and be open to what God says to us. Sometimes it’s hard to believe what God says because it’s so incredible. I felt so blessed to be able to live in Coronado. My husband and I spent a lot of time there when we were dating long distance while he was stationed there. It was a dream come true and I had to let go of my fears and receive the gift that it was to live there. I also had to receive the peace of knowing He was leading us instead of holding onto my fears.
I want to be clear that I’m not saying that when we release our fears to the Lord, that we get physical things, a nice place to live, or that our circumstances improve every time. The biggest change is being able to operate from a place of peace.
That said, when God put on my heart that moving there was a gift, He was not joking around.
I definitely feel that I received a huge gift from the Lord that was above and beyond that peace I got. And not only did we live in an amazing place and we got to spend more time with my husband, but we had the surprise of a lifetime…
The month we moved into our home, we got pregnant with baby #3.
We had struggled with fertility and endured three miscarriages on the road to conceiving our first two children. We didn’t know that we could get pregnant without help! And the timing and location of where we moved definitely played into our ability to conceive our little blessing (wink).
I am amazed at every good and perfect thing that comes from the hand of God. (James 1:17 “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.”)
Again, not all situations end with huge blessings or circumstances improving.
However, when we can make decisions out of peace instead of fear, we open ourselves up to what God has for us in a fresh new way. We reap the blessings of following His voice instead of allowing fear to run our lives.
I pray that as you face big (or little) decisions in your life and fear settles over you, that you will tune into the voice of God and receive the peace He has for you!
About Heather Goffrier
Heather Goffrier is a Navy wife & mom of 3 daughters ages 6, 3 and almost 2. She helps mamas gain confidence through parenting tips for toddlers and newborns, marriage communication tips, encouragement for moms & managing house routines. She loves chocolate and can be found eating treats in the pantry when her kids aren’t looking. You can find her at https://strongwithgrace.com