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Bible Studies | Spiritual Growth

Feeling like you are not enough?

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two women sitting on benches in a park facing each other

Have you ever had the feeling like no matter what you do you are just not enough?  Like you don’t measure up.  Even when you try your very best!

Sometimes it seems like no matter how much we do or how hard we try it’s just never enough.  We feel like we aren’t a good enough wife, mom, daughter, friend, employee or whatever our role is.  

I’ve felt that way plenty of times!  When my three oldest kids were little there was this cartoon they loved to watch called Little Bear.  I don’t even know if it’s still on but that momma bear made me feel like a failure at times!

I know that sounds crazy, it was only a cartoon, but man she was a great mom!  So wise and never lost her temper.  I, on the other hand, made mistakes daily and did loose my temper then felt like dirt!

Here’s the deal.  I was being the best mom I knew how to be at the time.  This was before the internet and all the wealth of information we have at our fingertips now.

I was an only child growing up so I was doing the best I knew how.  I have a feeling you are too.

As a matter of fact, I bet you read everything you can about how to be a better mom and a better wife. The internet is a great place to get information and knowledge about these things.

It’s also a big fat liar!  Think about it.  We scroll through social media comparing ourselves, our marriages, our kids, homes, jobs and vacation pictures to everyone we are “friends” with.

Let me fill you in on a little secret and please learn this as early in life as you can.  Life is NOT a competition!! You are not in competition with anyone but yourself.

So you lost your temper over something stupid today.  Be sincere and apologize to your husband or kids and do it in a way so that they can see that even moms mess up and it’s ok.  Be a better version of yourself tomorrow!

I remember when my kids were younger, I was under a LOT of stress there for awhile plus it seemed like I was pregnant or just had a baby for years so I was always hormonal.  Anyway, I would tell my kids that they were being good and I loved them more than anything but mommy needed a time out for 10 minutes.  Then I would go in my room, shut the door and take a few deep breaths and pray!

I found this worked great for me. It gave me a chance to deal with whatever was bothering me and I didn’t take it out on my kids.  I let them know it wasn’t their fault I was upset, I just needed a minute to think.

Do you ever feel like you aren’t “good enough” at anything? When you are feeling good about yourself someone comes along and pops your happy bubble!

Maybe it isn’t with your kids, maybe your family is great but it’s your job.  You show up every day, you work hard and do your job.  No one ever has any complaints but they never seem to appreciate what all you do.

Maybe you work your tail off and someone else gets all the praise.  Or they just treat you different and you don’t know why but it makes you feel like you are somehow less.

Recently I had one of those days.  Then I read a quote, and I wish I could remember where so I could read more, that said this . . . “Let the One who created you be the one who defines you”

That one sentence changed my whole day!  It’s so good I’m gonna share it again:

”Let the One who created you be the one who defines you”

WOW!!  I absolutely LOVE that!!  The people I work with don’t define who I am.  Social media doesn’t define who I am.  The mistakes I’ve made don’t define who I am!

When you feel like you are not enough – God knows you better than anyone

What and who defines who I am is God.  He is the One who created me!  Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I formed you in your mother’s womb I knew you . . .”  Now God was talking to the prophet Jeremiah in this verse and telling him about calling him to be a prophet.

But the same verse holds true for us today as it did thousands of years ago for Jeremiah.  God formed us in the womb.  He knew us then! He knows you now!

Luke 12:7 says “And the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don’t be afraid . . .”  Did you catch that?  Every single hair on your head is numbered, not counted.  If they were all counted it wouldn’t matter.

God could just say “Oh yeah Karen, you have a million hairs on your head today.  Yesterday you had a million and thirty six.”  But He doesn’t say that.  God knows exactly which hair falls out or comes out when I brush it.

If God cares that much about me and if He knew me before I was ever formed and born, then He is the only one I am concerned about telling me how much I am worth.

I refuse to let another human, who makes mistakes just like I do, tell me I’m not good enough at anything.  I refuse to let another fake social media picture, where everyone was fighting 2 seconds before the smiling faces showed up in my feed, make me feel like I’m not a good wife or mom!

When you are feeling like you are not enough – your family

Do you love your husband?  Do you still do the little things to let him know you love him and he is important to you?  If not then why not?

Maybe you need to have a sit down conversation about what’s going on in your marriage and how you feel.  Or maybe you just need to start doing those little things again.

What about with your kids?  Do you hug them every single day and tell them you love them?  Do you really listen when they are telling you something or are you multitasking?  I’ve been guilty too!

Sometimes I have to remind myself to just stop what I’m doing, look them in the eyes, shut my mouth and listen.  Listen to every detail they want to share about their day.

I have to take a deep breath and remind myself of what’s really I mean REALLY important.  I promise, the dishes and laundry aren’t going anywhere.  Trust me, I’ve tried waiting it out and they just stay there and invite even more dirty dishes and clothes to come hang out with them lol

As long as you are doing the best you can every day then that is honestly all you can do.  You make the best decisions you can for your family.  You are honest and kind.

When you feel like you are not enough – Remember the enemy is real

You see Satan wants us to be down.  He wants us to think we are not worthy of anything.  If Satan can keep us down and out then we aren’t being the best person we can be.  If Satan can make us think we aren’t good enough and we don’t measure up then we won’t try.

My dear friend, I feel the pain and discouragement you are going through.  I’ve walked in those shoes and cried the tears of someone feeling like “why bother, nothing I do is good enough anyway.”

I’m here to tell you that you are worth far more than you realize!  Tell satan to leave you alone in the name of Jesus.  Then give God the praise He deserves for loving you and thank Him for all of His goodness.

When you feel like you are not enough – God is bigger!

If you do this every time you are feeling unworthy I promise it will make a difference.  When we open our hearts and minds to God then He pours out His love on us and His presence with us.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9

Praying for you this week to realize that you are just the right person for the task God has called you to do.  Praying you realize that you, my dear friend are ENOUGH!

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  1. This was beautiful! I am much better at not beating myself up for not being the “perfect” everything. But every now and then, you need a reminder from God that you are Great and still growing!

    Thank you for sharing. Blessings.

    1. Yes ma’am! I agree completely, thank you so much for reading my post and your comment! Be blessed friend 🙂

  2. Beautiful! Thank you for the reminder that I was made by God to fulfil the tasks that he has placed me in. Thank you for your honesty about needing a little break when your kids were younger to go pray. I needed that reminder this week!

  3. This reminds me of a facebook post I saw recently stating something like, “If God put that much effort into each individual snowflake, imagine what he did with you!”

    1. Exactly! God has a plan and loves us so much! You know I was in my 40’s before I FINALLY realized or accepted that God loves me unconditionally and completely, flaws and all! I am so thankful that even if everyone I know turns their backs on me, God never will! Be blessed!

  4. Thanks for finally talking about >Feeling like you are not enough?
    – Warrior Women <Liked it!

  5. This is so beautiful. My kids are 4 and 1 and I feel like every hear I get worse as a parent, but i think the comparison game just gets worse.

  6. I will never be the perfect mom, LOL! But if I strive to be like Christ in all I do, including being a mom, then that’s half the battle.

  7. Thanks for this reminder, Karen. It’s so easy to forget that with God we are enough for all He has called us to be. Blessings to you!

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